Something funny I came across today. I thought it was appropriate, being a Monday, and anyone who's anyone knows what's on TV on Monday nights:

Every time you think about sex Jack Bauer kills a terrorist. Not because you thought about sex, but because that is how often he kills terrorists.
If Jack Bauer was in a room with Hitler, Stalin, and Nina Meyers, and he had a gun with two bullets, he'd shoot Nina twice.
Upon hearing that he was played by Kiefer Sutherland, Jack Bauer killed Sutherland. No man plays Jack Bauer.
People with amnesia still remember Jack Bauer.
Jack Bauer killed 93 people in just four days' time. Wait, that is a real fact.
Jack Bauer once forgot where he put his keys. He then spent the next half-hour torturing himself until he gave up the location of the keys.
If Jack and MacGyver were locked in a room together, Jack would make a bomb out of MacGyver and get out.
Jack Bauer's favorite color is severe terror alert red. His second favorite color is violet, but just because it sounds like violent.
The quickest way to a man's heart is through Jack Bauer's gun.
Superman wears Jack Bauer pajamas.
Jack Bauer's death was not staged. Jack came back to life after Satan was too scared to let him into Hell.
Lets get one thing straight, the only reason you are conscious right now is because Jack Bauer does not feel like carrying you.
Jack Bauer came up with the idea to can and sell his own urine, that product is known as Red Bull.
When life gave Jack Bauer lemons, he used them to kill terrorists. Jack Bauer hates lemonade.
Jack Bauer played Russian roulette with a fully loaded gun and won.

krittabug