One week, still alive.

So late last week, at work, of course (because I do that now - work), I was handed a manual on how to use a computer.

There were actual diagrams of "the mouse" and "the keyboard" and "the monitor."

WHAT ARE THESE FOREIGN OBJECTS YOU SPEAK OF?

And it was at that moment, people, that I learned how to turn on a PC.

Unbelievable.

In better news, I've found my kindred spirit at work. He is gay and fantastic, and today, because we've known each other for one week, he's taken to calling me "slutbag." It's a term of endearment that I've latched right onto.

He just goes with it. "Girl, where are you going, slutbag?" he asks as I leave the break room. Gives me warm fuzzies. We've spent the last week enjoying each other's misery. I knew it was meant to be when he told me he cried when Michael Jackson died.

We sit in the back of the classroom - the Bitches in the Back, we say. Thank god for him.

In other classroom news, we've got plenty of baby daddy drama, which never ceases to give me great joy. Here are usual conversations amongst the baby mamas:

"Oh, my boyfriend can't get in no trouble, girl. He's on parole. He be goin' back to prison for that shit, THEN who's gonna watch the baby?"

I AM NOT LYING. It is glorious.

So, next time on Tales from Training, I'll teach you guys what the "backspace" button does on "the keyboard." Also, use birth control. You're welcome! Happy trails!