"You know I don't speak Spanish!"

The girls and I went to one of our favorite, local Mexican restaurants for lunch this afternoon. I have a bizarre, and potentially concerning, love for Mexican food. And it's not so much the food, as it is the chips and salsa.

I hereby declare that I could eat chips and a good salsa every day. For every meal. Authentic Mexican restaurants have the best salsa. See? My mouth is watering just thinking about it. And I say "see" as if you can actually see me...


So, as a friend of mine rattles off her order in fluent Spanish, because she speaks fluent Spanish, I sat, panicking over the menu, and realizing the only phrase of Spanish I remember is, "Puedo ir al bano, por favor?" (Can I go to the bathroom, please?)

She turns to me, smiling, and says, "Now you have to order in Spanish."

I stare at the menu. I know what I want. And I'm hungry. And now I'm panicking a little bit.

"How do I say 'taco'?"

And that's when I remember I'm a complete retard.