You haul.

I have moved about 12 times in my adult life. Like, for real 12 times. I am in the midst of my thirteenth move. (NOT FUN AT ALL).

Every time I move, though, I am able to rid myself of at least 18 percent of my belongings. It's funny how quickly objects lose their sentimental value as you're feverishly working to fit everything into some boxes and load them into your car.

Meh! College diploma? Who NEEDS IT!?

(Just kidding. I didn't throw that away. But where on Earth it might be is another story...)

You'd think by now I'd have zero possessions left. Unfortunately that is not true. I tend to keep things. I'm that person who has the corks from wine bottles and wristbands from water parks.

You should've seen my stuffed animal collection as a child. NO! I CAN'T GET RID OF THEM THEY HAVE FEEEEELINGS! NO!

I'm not kidding. It was like that.

And so here I am, again, packing my crap, preparing for another move. And I am finding I, once again, have entirely too much stuff. Can't I just get rid of my clothes? And my couch? And those DVDs and shoes and the printer-that-hasn't-been-used-since-early-2002?

The idea of compacting my belongings in a manner that will allow them to fit into a U-Haul makes it hard to breathe. SO MUCH STUFF. How will it fit? Where will it go? Who will unpack it? Because if that is supposed to be my job, I am resigning. Consider this my two-day notice.

Moving makes me neurotic. (This is not news because everything makes me neurotic). But I am especially neurotic when it comes to settling into a new home. The boxes all over the floor and lack of space and empty walls and mess (oh, the mess) make me itch.

Luckily, to lessen the blow, I have some lovely ladies coming down tomorrow night to assist in my move. Sara and Elizabeth are heading down for what we're calling "help moving," but what that really means is we're going to watch back-to-back episodes of Gilmore Girls and braid hair. And then in the morning we'll think about throwing things into the U-Haul.

Saturday is the day. The big move. And believe you me, I bet I will have everything unloaded and put in its place by approximately 6:32 p.m. because I CANNOT FUNCTION IN A MESS.