Write this down.

Just got a list of dating rules from a friend. He is wise. They made me laugh. I am keeping them in my pocket. 1. No smokers. 2. No one under 25. 3. No one without a college degree. 4. No mouth breathers. 5. Knuckles cannot hang past knees. 6. Cannot refer to Packers as "We". 7. Opens doors and all that crap. 8. No suspicious facial hair. 9. Must be on decent terms with exes but not enough that they feel the need to stay in touch. 10. No one from Racine or Kenosha County... Or Janesville.

"... Or Janesville" killed me dead. As did "all that crap" and No. 5.