Where did I go? And other stories.

So, I was home all day yesterday. Ill. Which is upsetting for several reasons. Most importantly, I called Charter Communications on Monday to reschedule the appointment to have our cable and internet installed because no one was going to be home yesterday between 1 p.m. and 5 p.m. And don't worry, I was home ALL DAY. Now we have to wait until Friday.

Secondly, well, I guess I don't know why else it's upsetting except that who wants to be home sick with no cable and no internet? And no The Fiance?

Which brings me to C) I read a lot yesterday. So much so that this person I live with who plays Playstation like it's going out of style, was actually disgusted with me. Actual disgust came out of his mouth.

There have been two times in which I have actually wanted to punch him. Yesterday was one of them.

He called periodically throughout the day to A) see what I was doing, how my day was going, not B) ask how I was feeling, which is OK, because, well, whatever. Anyhow, each time he called I had either just awoken from a nap, or I was reading, because, hello, what ELSE is there to do? Play video games?

In the morning, I told him I was just finishing up the book Goodnight Nobody by Jennifer Weiner. By the afternoon I had started Running With Scissors by Augusten Burroughs. And by 9 p.m., I had finished Running With Scissors and had begun The Devil Wears Prada by Lauren Weisberger.

I had, exactly, 14-and-a-half hours to do n-o-t-h-i-n-g, people, but read. And do you know what he said? Do you KNOW what The Man Who Gets Elbow Chafage From Too Much Playstation Had The Nerve To Say To His Extremely Intelligent, Well-Read, Feeds-The-Cats, Cleans-The-Litterbox, Takes-Out-The-Trash, Makes-The-Coffee-And-Pours-It-Into-His-Mug, Wife-To-Be?

"Jesus. Stop reading. God."

Did you hear that tone? Did you hear the disgust? The disgust he later played off as, "I was just kidding."

He also followed his tirade with, "Well, maybe if you were reading something like, 365 pages of sexual positions or something" (Dear Mom and Dad, ha. Ha, ha. Just kidding), which is what curled my fingers into a fist. Very tightly.


I apologize for my intellect. I'll try harder to show more cleavage, dye my hair blonde and read Cosmo.