What I get for being green.

I made it my mission Sunday night, as I parked my can in perfect parallel position on the street in front of my apartment, that I would not drive my car one time this week. I'll have you know it is almost noon on Thursday, and my car has not left its spot once. I walked to the grocery store, as I usually do, walked to visit friends, who live two blocks away, and rode my bike to and from work, which I love to do.

BEING GREEN IS NEAT!

It's unfortunate that my bank hates me and the environment and probably puppies, too.

My bank, which shall remain nameless, has been the biggest pain in my ass for a multitude of reasons, and I've been a member for less than 50 days. Perhaps you are familiar with that time I brought my bike into the lobby. Which brought me to yesterday's dilemma.

Seeing as though my mode of transportation this week has been a bicycle, and seeing as though it is, apparently, a crime to roll a road bike into the lobby of a bank, I found myself in a pickle when I needed to deposit a check. I realize if I bought a bike lock I could solve a few problems, but hear me out.

My options were this: the drive-through. Sure, I could deposit a check into the bank's ATM's, but unfortunately those ATM's are located INSIDE the bank, where I am not allowed with my bike.

So, I did as any stuck-in-a-pickle person would do - took my bike straight through the drive-through.

There I am, ho-hum, wallet in hand, foot on ground, butt on seat, signing my check as a person in a vehicle gets serviced in the lane next to me. I'm about to put my check into the capsule when I hear this on the speaker:

"Uh, ma'am. We're not allowed to serve people on bikes. If you have a bike, you need to use the lobby."

I furrowed my brow. "Right. But last time I brought my bike to the lobby, I was escorted out because I wasn't allowed to have my bike."

"Well, you're not supposed to use your bike here."

"I don't have a bike lock, I can't bring my bike to the lobby, I can't use my bike here, I need to deposit this check," I say, waving the check at the animal behind the glass window. "What do you presume I do?"

"Well, I can help you now, but I can't do it again," he conceded.

Jerks.

So, I deposited my check, all is well. But seriously. Is there a liability involved with bank patrons on bikes? If the guy behind me runs me over, is it the bank's fault? What would banks do if all the cars in the world died and everyone was on bikes?

I am green, hear me roar.