Dammit. Dammit, dammit, dammit.
It's been a long time since I've cried tears that were not out of one of two things: anger or frustration. But I think I broke that seal.
I miss my friends so much. I miss the life I left. I miss recognizing the town I called home for almost three years. My job. My desk. My coworkers. Lunch at my favorite Mexican restaurant.
Life moves on there without me, but I feel like I can't make my life move on without it. Everyone is OK there, filling the void I left. But I can't fill the void they left in me.
It was my decision to leave. I left. And I cannot figure out why anymore. And I get so angry at myself. So damn angry. Maybe these are tears of anger. So there goes my original theory of these tears being the result of something other than that.
But I can't understand why, then, I'm so sad.