There are no words.

There, there, Krista. It'll all be OK. Just rest your weary head on Jake Gyllenhaal's rock-hard abs that are somewhere under that sweater. Isn't that better?

OK, sorry.

Everyone needs a little Jake Gyllenhaal now and again to turn that frown upside down. And sideways. Backwards. Forwards. Upside down again...

All better.