The takeover is happening.

Not so very long ago I once vowed - to God, himself - that I'd never own a Blackberry. Except now I own one.

IS THIS WHAT I'VE BEEN MISSING THIS WHOLE TIME?

They call these bad boys crackberries for a reason. I CANNOT STOP. I want to play with my GPS and update my Twitter and chat on Google Talk and fiddle on the Internet BECAUSE I CAN. All from my phone. It's like carrying around my own personal spaceship.

This is a very real bliss I have not felt since discovering illegal music downloading.

Downside? When my boss sends me an e-mail at 1:37 a.m., as he very much did last night, I get it. On my phone. I cannot make work go away.

Upside? WHO CARES! I can rule the world from the palm of my hand!

OK. Or at least I can rule my world.

In other news, who the hell ordered all the snow? F'real. You're a jerk.