The longest 10 miles.

It was hot outside today. And I was lazy. I blame that on my lack of blood from yesterday's donation. Regardless, because I needed to run, I compromised with myself. Self, I said, if you run 10 miles, you can run it really slow.

And so I did.

I kind of just lallygagged. Stopped to stretch. Stopped for water. Stopped because I convinced myself I had to go to the bathroom, and, ooooh, I bet that building has air-conditioning.

I had a few things working against me. For one, a lack of blood, therefore a lack of energy. Another, it was w-a-r-m outside. The sun was all shining on me. Sweat, whine, repeat. And then the heartburn. Oh, the heartburn.

Running with heartburn blows. And not only was I running with heartburn, I was running through an area with high traffic, so there was also exhaust. Heartburn, exhaust and last night's Doritos are all floating through my system.

GOD. Awful.

And no amount of water consumption will help that heartburn, I promise. It will just make you water-logged and pee-feeling. Then you'll just want to stop and stretch and sweat and go into that building with the air-conditioning.

None of this makes the 10 miles go by any faster.

And can we also talk about the arboretum and the fact that TURKEYS run around willy-nilly through that place? Turkeys. Like, what I eat on Thanksgiving. Just, you know, roaming around the arb all, "Hi!"

They are creepy. And thrice now I have happened upon a gaggle of them just hangin' out by the side of the road.

TURKEYS I DON'T LIKE YOU.

And now I kind of don't want to eat them anymore because I will think, "Turkey? Was it YOU I saw in the arboretum on Thursday?"

I can't eat that.

Le sigh.

Eventually the 10 miles ended. But not before all of that happened. And now you know. Next time I will stay home and watch Food Network.