A lot of times my life plays out a little like The Boy Who Cried Wolf. Something positive comes my way, and as soon as I grasp it, get used to it, and tell the world, POOF! It's gone. Not there. There's no proof of its existence. This is not meant to elicit sympathy, or for anyone to think, "Oh, poor Krista." I don't feel that way about it, neither should you. Some things come, some things go, some things stick around, some things don't. Relationships, friendships, jobs, good fortune. It's life. "Too good to be true" oftentimes is true -- typically for a reason. Good reason. So when the little boy cries "wolf!" all over the village, no one believes him because there is no wolf. Until there is.
Relationships have become my wolf. You think you've found one -- a good one -- and then, POOF! It disappears. It disappears for a wide variety of reasons, most of them shitty, but regardless, it disappears. People in my life seem to have grown accustomed to that. "Uh huh, sure Krista. Sure, you met someone." Because they know -- they do -- that it won't last. My mom once reached a point where meeting new boyfriends in my life felt like a pointless venture. "I don't want to get my hopes up for you," she'd say. I didn't want to either. Also, ouch.
But after a while, you start to believe that. Believe that it won't work. Believe that it's too good to be true. Believe that your relationship flaws are very much real. You start to believe that, Holy shit, I'm 30 years old, I will die alone and my cats will eat my face.
But then good things do start happening. The job, the friendships. They all fall into place and surround you with good fortune. You wait for that final piece -- the piece that reminds you that you aren't a failure in relationships, and that, while maybe your cats do want to eat your face, it won't happen when you die alone because you won't die alone.
I wonder what the little boy thought when the wolf finally did show up. Was he scared of it? Was he finally happy because I TOLD YOU THERE WAS A WOLF, SUCKERS. Did he smile, proud of himself, because he knew that wolf would come, no matter how many times he psyched out the entire village? Sure, the boy was a filthy, little liar, and the wolf massacred his entire flock of sheep, but goddammit, that wolf showed up.
So, at the risk of having my entire flock massacred, I'm gonna go ahead and shout it: