That time I had one Bloody Mary too many.

Also, the Packers lost. Seriously.

So, remember how I said just yesterday how fabulous life was? That was until last night, when it's fabulous-ness came screeching to a halt with a knock on the door. It went something like this:

Knock, knock.

Krista, who is naked and about to get in the shower, swiftly wraps herself in a towel, assuming the patron at the door is her pal, whom she was expecting. Krista opens door to find man of the Baby Boomer Generation holding a huge set of keys, about to open door himself.

"Uh," says Krista, realizing, hi, who IS this man, and also, why do you have keys to my apartment?

"Is this apartment 105?" Baby Boomer asks, trying to pretend woman at door is NOT naked and also wrapped in a towel.

"Yes," Krista says, still naked. And still wrapped in a towel. And still wishing man at door was not indeed a man, and rather her friend. Where IS friend? Because she would be a MUCH better unexpected visitor while Krista is both naked and wrapped in a towel and speaking to an unknown man who has keys to her very messy apartment.

"Oh. I was told you were to be moved out by Oct. 1. We have a new tenant moving in tonight," Evil Man of Satan tells Krista, still naked.

Krista is befuddled. Clearly Krista is not moved OUT of her very messy apartment, seeing as though it is FULL of laundry on the floor, and also crazy cats, and also, she's naked in a towel, Dear Sir.

"No," is all Krista could reply. Krista is SUPPOSED to be in her apartment until the END of October, and could someone please have CALLED her to let her know her HOME was rented to SOMEONE ELSE without any notice? Please. She may have said some of those things to Strange Man Who Is Trying To Kick Her Out Of Her Apartment And Is Also Awkwardly Trying Not To Look At Woman Who Is STILL Naked And Still Wrapped In A Towel, And Who Is Also Now Pissed.

"Well, I was told you were supposed to be gone by Oct. 1," man said, becoming aware of pissedness in eyes of Naked Girl In Towel.


Krista last spoke to absent landlord two months ago, when she specifically TOLD loopy landlord that she was here THROUGH OCTOBER and maybe landlord would have KNOWN these things had landlord made Krista The Tenant SIGN A LEASE, which no, landlord did not do. And also, NO, a new tenant MAY NOT move into KRISTA'S APARTMENT tonight. No.

Turns out, ha, ha, silly landlord, made a mistake of miscommunication. Silly, silly, landlord. But Krista is STILL to be out of her apartment at the end of October when New Tenant moves in, probably angry because hi, new tenant was supposed to move in while Krista still RESIDED in the apartment.

And then Krista realizes, "Wait a minute, I then have nowhere to live. Shit." Friend comes to the rescue, to allow Krista and Cats to live in her apartment rather than live homeless on the street, to which Krista is VERY grateful. Krista's entire belongings will reside in the basement of ANOTHER pal for an indefinite period of time, until The Fiance is ready to move to The Middle.

So if you NEED Krista, she shall be living out of a suitcase in the apartment of a pal come November, and it will be filled with Girl Talk and Slumber Parties. And one day she won't be homeless.

The end.

In light of the stressful developments, I joined my coworkers at a bar to watch the Packers lose, in which I was fed a Bloody Mary. And then another. Another. And one more. And also Dirty Girl Scout shot. By 10:30 I was home in bed, which yes, still belonged to me. No new tenants had taken over my home. Yet. And I had forgotten all about my pending homelessness. Which was mostly the plan.

Instead, I called The Fiance.

"I drank too much," I told him. "Boo."