So, about dogsitting.

Newt and Leonard are doing great. Those are the dogs I'm sitting. Newt and Leonard.  NEWT and LEONARD. Honestly, are there better names out there for a pair of dogs? (That answer is no).

I adore dogs. God, I need one. And these two are a handful. I don't think all the energy in the planet would be enough to entertain these two. They are endless. But, dangit, they're fun.

Erin warned me that they're going to want to sleep with me. I was PUMPED. I always wanted a dog to snug up to at night, nonetheless TWO.  What I didn't know was that they did not only wanted to sleep WITH me, they also wanted to sleep ON me.

True story.

I curled up in the spare bedroom, head surrounded by plump pillows (have I mentioned how much I love sleeping in new places? I could LIVE in other people's houses forever, swear) in the relaxing, unfamiliar darkness. Before I knew it, up comes Newt. Hey, Newt! Hi! He did a few laps around the bed (on me), did a few turns, and BAM. Right on top of me. I didn't have the heart to move because he looked so damn comfortable.

And then Leonard joined. He did much of the same. And BAM - curled up on my other side.

I was sandwiched between a couple of Viszlas. I was the meat of a Vizsla submarine sandwich. A Vizsla club, on white bread. We were like sardines in a can. I was spooning, and being spooned by, a dog.


Precious until one of them snuck out of the backyard this afternoon.

I let them out to play - because, like I said, ENERGY - and within about 20 minutes, my cell phone rang. It was Erin. Oh! She's calling to say hi to the doggies! Aw!

"So, are one of the dogs missing?"

Question mark.

"Um, no?" I quietly scrambled to the back door to prove that, in fact, Newt and Leonard were both in the backyard. Oh, hey, Leonard! Where's Newt? Oh, not there? Hm. Indeed.

"Uh. Leonard. He's, um, there."

"No Newt, hey?"

"Nope. No Newt."

I PANICKED. OMG I LOST THEIR DOG!!1! Newt is GONE. Kill me dead!

Then she explained a neighbor several doors down had Newt. Somehow he escaped from the backyard (I argue it was wizardry), and happened upon said unsuspecting neighbor. Thank GOD Newt had on a collar with an ID tag and phone number. Neighbor called Erin, and hooray! The day is saved!

Like a moron, I tip-toed several houses down to pick up (NAUGHTY, NAUGHTY!) Newton, and wandered back to the house. It was like the walk of shame. Hi! I'm the dogsitter! And I lost him! Neat!

Erin wasn't mad, of course. I mean, maybe she was, but she did a darn good job of grinning and bearing it.

"Oh, ha. Ha, ha. Don't worry!" (What she really meant was, "OMFG, you're WORTHLESS!)

But all is well. And the dogs are currently having a tug-of-war with a toy, and I'm pretty positive Leonard is going to eat Newt if he doesn't let go. Ah, the life of a dog owner. Never a dull moment.

Especially when I go to bed tonight and wake up a hot dog in a Vizsla bun.