Several exciting things that I will tell you about and you will listen.

A) Brett Favre is not retiring. In case you hadn't heard the news on every news station from here to the moon. This makes me happy. Not so much because I've given a dang about the Packers much in the past two years, but because I one time dreamed of making out with him. Perhaps having his children. I'm kidding. About the not caring about the Packers part.

B) Punxatawney Phil (I prefer to call him Felipe) predicted an early spring this morning when he peeked out of his hole. Perhaps he did not get the memo alerting him to the fact that there are currently Arctic temperatures emanating from the heavens. And I am cold. Someone get him the memo.

C) I have decided (drumroll, please) to run a half-marathon. Like, ACTUALLY run a half-marathon, not say I'm going to run one, pretend to train, and then get injured and give up. I shall be running the debut half-marathon in this fine city in which I work, and maintaining a community forum on my Place of Employment's website, detailing my nine-week training adventure.

Which means I have exactly, oh, three minutes to start training before it's too late and I don't have enough time to prepare to run 13.1 miles. The half-marathon is April 14. I am meeting with an elite runner man on Monday to go over a training plan and motivate myself.

And in case you forgot, D) IT IS MY BIRTHDAY WEEKEND. At 10:58 p.m. on Sunday, Feb. 4, I expect you all to scream from the rooftops in honor of my birth, which was one-quarter century ago.