Reference check:

"Of course I told her you suck and you hardly ever come to work because of your lupus. She needs to know the truth, you know?"

"Oh, right. I was hoping you'd be completely honest. Between the lupus, The Hiv... God, work is just lowest on the totem pole. And, of course, when I've got spare time, there's that whole hooking on the street corner gig."

"Not to mention stealing from petty cash."

"And when I'm not stealing from petty cash, I'm generally sending bomb threats to other local businesses."