Probably the funniest thing I've seen. Today.

OK, quick story. I promise.

So I'm eating lunch today. A salad, mmm, healthy. (And not satisfying in the least). And a side of ranch dressing. So there I eat, ho hum, eating, eating, eating... when Chicken pops her curious nose into my face.

Chicken: Mmmm. Ranch. Yum. Gimme.
Self: ...? (Dips finger into ranch dressing, puts in Chicken's face).
Chicken: Mmmmyummmranchyummmm.
Self: (highly amused)

Then Harley, who can hardly stand to be the un-center of attention for point-three seconds, decides she needs in on this apparent good time.

Harley: WTF, man. Give me some of that. Now.
Self: (Scowls. Dips finger into ranch dressing, puts in Harley's face, and...)

Harley literally gags. Actual gagging, retching, near-vomiting. The second the ranch dressing reached her pink, wet nose. She cowers in the corner, aghast at my obvious attempt to kill her. How dare I try to poison my one, precious kitten? Of all the nerve. Scoff.

I laugh. Chicken laughs. You know, if cats laugh. Harley hates ranch dressing. It actually makes her gag. I. Love. It. So I continue to chase her cowering tail around the apartment with my new Weapon of Mass Destruction. All the while she's freaking out. And Chicken is laughing. And now I'm telling you about it.

I love cats.