It was dark, late, and MOB and I were walking up the driveway to the back door of his apartment. We had been in deep conversation, so were both lost in thought, walking with our heads down and hands at our side. Turns out, the quickest way to get my attention is to stir in the bushes. Because as soon as something stirred in the bushes to our right, I had a death grip on his forearm and my heart stopped.
OMG SOMETHING'S IN THE BUSHES DID YOU HEAR THAT WE'RE GOING TO DIE!
I might be a little bit afraid of the dark. Details.
Anyhow, as quickly as I gripped his forearm, he gripped mine (because he's a chicken, too). So there we were, gripping forearms, watching for whatever was stirring in the bushes to our right.
Of course in my mind I assumed it was a werewolf or a one-armed man yielding a chainsaw because it is only natural that these things would hide in the hedges alongside an apartment complex.
We crept a little bit further, closer to the back door, and whatever it was did the same.
OMG IT'S FOLLOWING US.
My pace quickened, as did my heart rate, and I chanted to myself. In my head. Not going to die, almost to the door, not going to die, almost to the door. It was working until out from the bushes peeked a skunk.
A SKUNK. A SKUNK IN THE BUSHES. FOLLOWING US. WHY IS THERE A SKUNK IN THE BUSHES FOLLOWING US!?
I didn't answer that question because we were too busy tripping over ourselves and back-peddling down the driveway to the front door. Still gripping forearms, of course. The skunk actually followed us, as if it was chasing us away from its lair.
Now, I don't know if you've ever been chased by a skunk, but if you're anything like me, you may as well be being chased by a werewolf. There were lots of oh-my-gods and did-you-see-thats and there-is-a-skunk-over-theres spit from my mouth. I may have actually broken a sweat. Not that that takes much. I'm kind of sweaty. Nevermind.
And of course, in true moron fashion, as soon as we made our way around the opposite side of the building to get to the back door (apparently we were too good for the front door?), we got curious.
I WANT TO SEEEE IT! THE SKUNK! LET'S GO SEE IT!
I'm sort of like a little girl attracted to sparkly objects. As soon as I see something with fur and a bushy tail I want to cuddle. I still want a lion as a pet.
And so we tip-toed around the corner and spied. I dare say it was cute. For a moment I considered the ramifications of being sprayed by a skunk, but for the most part, no, it was cute. Until it started scrambling through the bushes and I yelped like a puppy.
THE SKUNK IS MOVING IT'S GOING TO GET US RUN!
We sprinted in the opposite direction and played this game of cat and mouse until the skunk realized we were absolute idiots and waddled into the darkness.
And here I am at the end of this post, and I don't really have a point. So I hope you enjoyed it. Don't play with skunks. Good day!