Oh, those crazy Kenyans.

Alright, I know. This is old news. Like, so Monday. But, the Kenyans won the Boston Marathon.


Even more shocking - Robert Cheruiyot (that, uh, would be the winner) won it in 2:07:14. Whoa, Bob. Whoa.

By the way, Robert (Bob, Robby, Bobby, Rob?) - None of that sounds very Kenyan to me. However, Robert kicked arse.

Do you know, Bob, that when I ran the Chicago Marathon, I had yet to hit the halfway mark in two hours and seven minutes? I was still trucking along, smiling, waving to the spectators who held up signs urging us to "Beat the Kenyans!"

Oh, right. The Kenyans. Beat them. OK. Did you know Robert already crossed the finish line? Fools.

I can do a lot in two hours and seven minutes. I can drive home to see my parents. I can get in a good workout. I can clean my apartment - in less time, actually. I can wake up, shower, get dressed, get to work and write a blog in that amount of time. But run a marathon, Robby? No. Can't do that.

Even Rita Jeptoo, the female winner, finished in less time than it takes me to watch three episodes of Sex and the City on DVD. (Her time was 2:23:38, by the way).

So to Rita and Bobby - congratulations. I would congratulate you in your native tongue, but I don't know what that is.

And Bobby, I'm shooting for your time on May 21. As a matter of fact, I want to beat it. Yes, I'm that bold. The fact that it's only a half-marathon is just details.