Oh, the horror.

So I got my nose pierced last week. A very small, jeweled stud was plunged through my nostril.

I know. I know what you're thinking:
Oh, the horror.
What's wrong with kids today?
Haven't you heard? Nose piercings are for college chicks, not 24-year-old professionals?

And to you, I say:
Horror this.
I'm not a kid.
Gosh, must have missed that memo, thanks.

Next up: binge drinking.

I'm sure. I'm a professional. Right?