Oh, the Brewers? Yes, I know them.

Oh, hi! Just me, your average, every day Brewers fan. Ho-hum, look at me... I'll have you know I'm well on my way to Brewers fan-dom. I know things. I'm learning. And I totally saw Gabe Kapler return home after last night's game, by the way. Because I was in the same condo complex. I also read the Snap Fitness memo that was taped to his front door.

It pays to know people, OK?

Moving on.

I'm still undecided on who my favorite player will be. Clearly I need to create one out of the blue. One day I'll be all, "Hey! Ryan Braun! I JUST learned who you were three days ago, but YOU, man, you are AWESOME!"

Oh, me.

On Sunday, MOB and I will hit the Brewers game, and it will be magical, I'll have you know. I will be ready, dammit. And I will tailgate like a real fan. And I'll wear my Brewers paraphernalia and eat peanuts. When Bill Hall takes the plate I'll remind him to clean his hot tub.

This is serious, you guys. I'm going to take notes. Lucky for me, MOB knows his Brewers business, so I can cheat a little. I shall consider him my Brewers coach.

Next step? Brewers jerseys.

Bring it.