I went to lunch with a friend last week, and over sushi we were discussing various run-ins with the law. I ran a stop sign once. It was unfortunate. But he got it for drunk driving. WORSE.
However, also to be found on my record are "depositing human waste" and divorce. Totally unfortunate. When I mentioned this, in between bites of spicy tuna roll, he says to me, "Depositing human waste and divorce? Aren't those the same thing?"
That was when I was killed dead. Funniest thing I ever heard.