Oh, Jon Bon.

I have several things to say regarding tonight's American Idol with Jon Bon Jovi, starting with, holy crap.

The top six can rock out pretty good, with the exception, unfortunately, of Jordin, who's rendition of "Livin' On A Prayer" was about as good as my ability to belt it out in a bar after a few drinks. That song, by the way, is the best bar song. Ever. You know what I'm talking about:

"Whooooooooooooaaaaaaaa! Liiiiiivin' on a praaaaaayer!"

Yeah. That. Anyway.

She's still my girl. It's OK, Jordin. You got to meet Bon, who, by the way, is awesome. Although Mom broke up with him months ago, I bet she was still peeing in her pants just a little each time he was on screen. Because maybe I was.

Tall, bald Phil was fantastic, I thought. He used to so be my unfavorite of the bunch, but I think he redeemed himself during country week. And plus, he's kinda goofy looking, and it's endearing. You go, Phil.

LaKisha sang a great song, because I love me some Jon Bon music, but she wasn't my favorite of the night. She's not my favorite, period. And I still won't cry if she goes home. And since two are going home tomorrow night, I'll keep my fingers crossed that one of them is her. Gasp. I said it. (Oh, and by the way, Simon kissing her afterward was the coolest. I really don't hate him much anymore).

But really, I have no idea who should be the second to go. How about nobody? And the top five contestants share the crown? Because that'd be cool.

OK, and furthermore, Blake? I don't know if you checked this out in the mirror, but your hair is black. Black! What is going on? First Gerard Way goes blonde (WTF?) and now Blake goes black. I don't know how I feel about this. Perhaps we should've discussed this before you made the decision. Keep me in the loop, Blake.

Oh, and also? I like you. Lots. But I have a terrible fear you might go home tomorrow night. (Noooo!) So I will vote for you. A lot. Oh, one more thing. The beat-boxing? You should do that all the time. Maybe instead of breathing. Just beat-box. Because it's pretty cool (read: hot).


On second thought, you won't go home. Let's send home Chris instead. And LaKisha. Great, thanks.

Wait. Let's not send home Chris. No! He did good! I don't know what to do. I'm stressed! The pressure! I can't breathe! I want to keep you all! All of you! In my pocket! (Except LaKisha. Sorry, man).

Tomorrow night, people, may be the worst ever. Who will go home? Who! I think I would only be able to sleep afterward if it were Melinda and LaKisha. Not because they're bad, but because I have the least personal connection with them. The rest of them? We're tight, OK. And I don't want them to go home.

Oh, and, Bon gave Melinda a kiss. Did you see that? Did you see that! Mom!

I've got to stop talking about this now. We'll continue tomorrow night.