Once upon a time a couple friends and I would regularly remark how 2012 would be the end of the world. 2012! It's coming! RUN FOR YOUR LIVES. That was 2010. Well, tomorrow is 2013 and we're all still here. Weird how that happens. Normally I do a top ten recap of my year, looking back on blog posts and events past. Turns out, I didn't blog much this year. I don't know what caused the shift, but I just let this old, trusty friend sit by the wayside. I'm kind of pissed about that. One of my favorite aspects of having a blog is to be able to look back and reflect. It could also be that not much happened this year, which is sort of true. I became boring.
With that said, the biggest and best news of the year was getting a new job. Nearly a year old now! I never expected to be sitting here, nearly a year into a brand new job, and still loving it as much as I did on Day 1. More, even. My responsibilities continue to increase, and I continue to feel like a valued piece of the puzzle. If I ever dread going to work, it's only because I don't want to wake up early, not because of the job. That is rare, and I've never been more thankful to have found it. Find yours, people. It's worth it.
It was a great running year, too, except for the DNF heard 'round Krittabug's world. I ran my fastest marathon this year -- 3 hours, 57 minutes, and 4 seconds. An amazing day I never blogged about. In the 1,441 miles I ran in 2012, I learned, I struggled, I PR'd, I hated, I loved, I sweat, I froze, and I spent an amazing amount of time with some of my favorite people on earth. On roads, on trails, in snow, in heat, with laughter, with yelling, with tears, with love. For that, and for those race adventures, I'll forever be grateful for running.
I also had a relationship this year that allowed me to grow, love, and learn. The relationship may be no more, which was a tough lesson to learn and accept, but that doesn't mean he and the relationship weren't an integral part of the happiness I found this year. Unfortunately, I'm positive anyone who's counting on me to get married and live happily ever after has given up on me. As a single 30-year-old woman, I'm fucked. Apparently. However, I haven't given up on me, if that counts. I'll get there when I get there, I'm just waiting for him. And his name is Ryan Gosling, in case you needed to write that down.
Personally, it was a year spent growing (and not growing) emotionally. I turned 30 this year. THIRTY! Look at me go! More often than not I continue to feel 11, which I don't think will ever go away, if we're being honest. Being 11 was a good time. But the year 2012 will always be the year I got a therapist. It's still a fairly new adventure, but , again, if we're being honest, it's something I need, if for nothing else than to unleash my neurotic thoughts onto a person who won't judge me.
Neurotic thoughts such as this: relationships continue to be a struggle. But not romantic relationships; friendships. I have a lot of friends, which you wouldn't expect to be a problem. But the problem with maintaining lots of friendships is just that -- maintaining. And losing. It's hard.
It's always made me oddly sad to not have one best friend. I have her, and she has me. Yes, my best friend would be a girl, because boys are not meant for best friends. Duh. (Except Marty, HI MARTY!) I've written about it before, two years ago, and apparently it's still a struggle I can't get past. Thankfully I have several of the best of friends I could ever ask for. But I still find myself feeling lonely, like all of their lives are moving forward and filling up, while mine stays where it is, surrounded by cats. WHO I LOVE, let's just be clear about that. But I'm afraid my friends are going to move on with life without me, forgetting about me, making better friends. I know it's completely irrational, but this is what feelings are, and why they make therapists for them. Some friendships come naturally, some take work, and some, I'm finding, aren't worth the work. It's like math. I'm horrible at math.
All of this said, I'm happy. My life continues to be my own, little choose-your-own-adventure book. Sometimes I choose the wrong chapter and end up in the woods with monsters, but most of the time I make wise choices that are way better to read. I liked 2012. I really did. And I'm looking forward to 2013. Mostly so we can look back at those crazy Mayans and be like YEAH, LOOK WHAT WE DID. WE LIVED TO 2013.
Happy New Year, my friends. I'll catch you on the other side, where I promise to be exciting.