No children any time soon.

I have been at the mercy of a three-pound dog and her companion for entirely too long. Olivia has got to be the most fickle little fragile Chihuahua I've ever encountered. Not that I encounter many...

She pees on her time. Only when she's damn well ready. And I can take her out every hour on the hour, but she will be sure to pee on the kitchen floor in the interim.


I go on and on about how desperately I need a dog, and there are even a few fleeting moments when I'd love to have a baby to look at and feed, but no. I have changed my mind. Two pint-sized pooches have changed my mind.

I will only get a dog when I have a yard. That avoids any need to physically get up, put on a leash, walk around the neighborhood aimlessly and beg a couple dogs to pee. When I have a yard, I'll put my dog outside and let the darn canine be free to pee without my supervision.

Thank God for cats and litter boxes. I'll never complain about them again.