My body is uncomfortable, but I get a husband tomorrow anyway

Pregnancy is super uncomfortable sometimes, you know?

Some days I feel okay and other days I feel exactly like there is a small, yet growing, human expanding my body in many, varied ways, creating a heartburn that could provide solar energy for the entire Midwest.

He also moves a lot, sometimes ever-so subtly, which actually makes me feel a little nauseous. I don't think my body is actually sick, I think I sometimes just realize there is a human INSIDE MY BODY and he's MOVING AROUND, and then I feel so squeamish I want to throw up.

This is all super fun.

Today is one of those super uncomfortable days. 

It's getting more difficult to perform simple tasks like getting out of bed, putting on my shoes, and finding the will to move. Literally at all. Just to simply to remove myself from my chair. Getting out of bed is the most shocking. I try to sit up, like I've done for 35 waking years, and... no. I have to grunt myself into a seated position, roll over, use my arms, swing my legs over my pregnancy pillow, and by the time all of this is done I want to go back to bed. 

I am barely halfway through this pregnancy, you guys. Halfway through 21 weeks. 

For fun I tried on a pair of my very-much-not-for-pregnancy jeans this morning, and other than a complete inability to zip or button, they still fit the rest of me. It gave me some temporary peace of mind to know my legs and ass aren't expanding quite as much as my midsection. To be honest, I was fully prepared to have a meltdown right there in the basement with my bin of clothes I won't wear for another too-many months. 

I WAS SPARED. 

Today.

But that doesn't mean I haven't gained 16 pounds, per my doctor visit a week ago. I'm having a hard time digesting that information, as a person who's spent her entire adult life not gaining 16 pounds in a matter of months. I know this is supposed to happen, I know it will only get worse, but woooo boy. I'm just glad our scale at home is broken. 

That said, I'm still running. Some. And faithfully sticking to a quick strength routine to keep my arms, legs, and core in some sort of useful condition. So I haven't totally gone to shit. Yet. 

Today I feel like shit, but hey, I've still got some muscles in this body somewhere. I also have a growing child in this body, WHICH STILL BLOWS MY MIND MOST DAYS. Aw, little buddy with his cute button nose that he got from neither myself nor his father. Hi baby! 

Speaking of his father, WE GET MARRIED TOMORROW, INTERNET. It is officially my last day as a maiden. A MAIDEN. Which is actually a funny story. Last night, while chatting with my mom, I mentioned that it was our last night together as an unmarried couple. 

"Ooooo," she teased. "It's your last night as a... what's the word?"

I didn't know the word. For lack of knowledge, I replied:

"Virgin?"

Annnnnnnnnd, nope. Definitely not the word we're going for. Clearly. Says the pregnant bride-to-be. Turns out what we meant was maiden. 

So here I sit, sipping my one, small daily cup of coffee, watching my maidenhood and last name breathe their last breaths. 

I finished my vows yesterday. Finally. After weeks of hemming and hawing and stressing. Vows are a lot of pressure. Like, what kind of promises am I making here? VOWS ARE SACRED. What if I accidentally vow to always clean the house or remember to shut off the basement light? I CAN'T BE UPHELD TO THAT KIND OF PROMISE.

However, I love my vows. As expected, once I found my thoughts, the words poured out, as they tend to do. I cried one time while writing them. Vote now for the over/under on how many times I'll cry while reading them.

As much as the hullabaloo of planning and preparation tends to turn me into a maniac, I have zero nerves about getting married tomorrow. Truthfully, I can't wait. The day is exactly what we want. Our family. One of my oldest and dearest friends officiating. An amazing photographer. And Todd. I need nothing else. 

Although, I tried my dress on last night and it fits perfectly despite this new body, so that's a super bonus. A wedding dress helps. 

So, the next time I write, I'll be a married woman. Expect a whole new level of poise, you guys. 

Just kidding. I'll still be uncomfortably pregnant, hungry, and swearing about something. I'll just have a fancy new name to awkwardly sign, pronounce and spell for everyone who ever asks. 

Oh, and a wonderful husband. 

Don't forget him. He's the most fun part.