And today - I find this gem. About the "muffin top" phenomenon. Or the phenomenon where otherwise un-fat girls squeeze into two-sizes-too-small pants, resulting in "butt cleavage and flesh spilling over low-rise jeans like muffin tops on a tin."
Go ahead and read it. I'll wait.
According to the LSJ, "Most any sunny day, the Michigan State University campus yields muffin tops by the baker's dozen."
Whoa. However, don't feel bad, Michigan, it's everywhere. In the article, one girl referred to flab that hangs over the edge of low-waist jeans as being "like a push-up pop." Another guy said, and I quote, "It's just sick. Who wants to see your doughnut roll?"
Ha. Thank you, Phillip Brown, 24.
I used to be a proponent of pretending to fit into jeans that haven't fit me since I ran a marathon and don't fit into my jeans anymore (Huh. Who knew?), but then I realized muffin tops are for eating, not for popping out of my pants. Or your pants. Or her pants. Or any pants, please.
So honey, throw on a pair of size 8 jeans (Oh, the horror), instead of a size 4, and you'll look good. And I promise you'll be able to breathe. And keep you pants buttoned when you sit down.
And Michigan will smile again.
(Photo credit: Becky Shink of the Lansing State Journal)