Listen up, I have beauty advice. This is very important.

I want the internet to know that I didn't wash my hair this morning AND I have coconut oil on my face. Essentially, I've let my hair be dirty and I put oil on my face. This is apparently all the rage. But it's possible I've become a believer -- in the coconut oil, anyway. 

I had a lengthy discussion yesterday about the benefits of letting a few days pass between shampoos. And let me tell you, that is a polarizing conversation. Woof. People on one side shout, NO! HIPPIE! WASH YOUR HAIR! People on the other side -- people who have beautiful, healthy hair, mind you -- shout, DO IT! IT'LL CHANGE YOUR LIFE! 

The long and short is this: shampooing strips your hair of its natural oils, which are good for your hair. When you allow your natural oils to infiltrate your hair a bit, it means hooray! Healthier hair! The problem is the transition period. Your hair works hard to emit its natural oils every day because we keep stripping them away. So in those first few days of not washing your hair, it's Nasty Central up in there because your hair is still pumping out oils expecting them to be washed away. I'm told, by nearly everyone, to give it a few weeks of less frequent shampooing. Get past the "hump," so to speak. "Train" your hair, like Pavlov's dog. Or you can just wash it every day, and carry on like you have your entire life.

My hair, which currently brushes just past my shoulders, is the longest it's been in probably my entire adult life. I never let it grow. I'm always chopping it into a bob. So, I'm kind of thrilled to have hair of a significant length. I'd love for it to keep growing and become healthier. All the blow-drying and flatiron shenanigans keep it good and fried at all times.

My problem is this: gross. What if I can't survive the hump? I washed my hair last night and already 13 hours later I'm all, "No." My hair situation scares me. It looks fine, it does. But when it starts feeling heavy and oily and dirty and no amount of dry shampoo will salvage my charming good looks (OK, omg, just kidding, that's a lost cause), I think I'll cave. In a perfect, dirty world, I'll make it until Sunday morning. And in Krista's world, I'll end up washing it tomorrow. 

I'M SO NERVOUS. WHAT WILL HAPPEN? You're all on the edges of your seats. 

But coconut oil, you guys. This I can get behind. To be honest, I was even more skeptical of this because it's oil. On my face. And I don't know about you guys, but I've got enough oil on my face, thank you very much. But I'm a total sucker, so last night after my shower, I just went and did it. Put it all up on my face. It was amazing! It didn't even leave a trace of oil or residue behind, unlike every single moisturizer I've ever used on my face, which is why I rarely use them. Instead, I live in a perpetual state of uncomfortable face. But now I live in a perpetual state of My Face Feels Like Your Baby's Butt and Smells Like Candy.

I'll let you guys run off to buy your own jar of coconut oil now, you're welcome, bye.

Behold, thy coconut oil.

Behold, thy coconut oil.

So there you have it, internet. The only health and beauty advice you'll ever hear from me because, do you know me? Health and beauty are not my things. I don't even know how to do my own hair, and now I've stopped washing it, apparently.

That felt good, though. I'm feeling really powerful now, as if the world is listening.* 

THANKS FOR LISTENING, WORLD. SPAY AND NEUTER YOUR PETS. 

* as if, probably, my mom is the only person that reads my blog; so basically, the world.