Let's have a little conversation.

If you are offended by anything I write in this blog, (i.e. calling Sarah Palin a "twat," using profanity, posting pictures of menacing bacon, damning Brett Favre to losingest team hell), please, move on. And before you read on any further, please note you'll probably be offended.

I am not here to offend. I am here to spew what is rattling around in my mind. I am not going to censor those thoughts to pussyfoot around the delicate.

I called Sarah Palin a twat yesterday. It was the first word that came to mind. There are easily just as offending words: bitch, whore, cunt. I didn't use those. "Twat," by slang definition, means "vagina." Just like "bitch" means "female dog." I was not trying to call Palin a vagina, I was trying to say that if I get raped, you can bet your ass I'm not going to pay for my own damn rape kit. And you can bet your ass that if I were impregnated by that rapist, I would abort faster than you can say "adoption."

I don't need her, or anyone, dictating what I do with my body. I don't care if, in fact, she does have a twat. Just because I do, too, I have to respect her?

Moving on.

This is as politically charged as I'm going to get here. Ever. I have "voiced" my support for my political candidate. Debating politics makes my eyes bleed. So don't expect you'll find another soliloquy about this presidential election on this blog.

But you can bet your ass I'm still going to use profanity when the mood strikes.