Learning to keep the car windows closed.

I park in a garage at home, which is pretty sweet. Unfortunately, I think that means I can leave things like windows rolled down and the sunroof open while it's parked overnight. On my way home tonight, on the interstate, mind you, an itsy-bitsy, TERRIFYING, furry spider crawled onto my dashboard.

Oh, MY GOD.

I don't do spiders in any way, shape or form. I don't care if their purpose in life is to cure AIDS. I don't want 'em. Unless I contracted HIV, of course. They give me the willies, and it's sort of like death.

So anyway, back to the spider IN MY CAR. I almost died. Not just because there was a spider within three feet of me while I was trapped in a confined space, but because I was willing to hurl my speeding vehicle off the overpass just to make it end.

You think I'm joking.

I had about five miles to go before I could exit the interstate to freedom. Meanwhile, the spider kept crawling in and out of the dashboard, along the windshield, getting just too close for comfort. I was actually swearing out loud.

It reminded me of a time in college when I was driving with a girl friend, who was also terrified of spiders. A spider crawled onto the inside of the windshield, and she made me stop the car in the middle of the road so she could get out. Immediately.

Dammit, it was funny.

But that's exactly how I felt at that moment. I needed out. As soon as I exited the interstate, I pulled into the gas station, got out of the car, did the pee-pee dance, shrieked, and swatted the terrorist out of my car.

IT WAS SO SCARY. I die a little inside just thinking about it. Also thinking of how many others could be in there.

I don't DO spiders.