I've turned my own mother against us.

"Kritta! What are you doing?"

"Kicking The Fiance's ass in golf."

(Insert laughing, here, as I kick The Fiance's ass in Tiger Woods PGA Tour 2006).

"No."

(Insert more snickers, here, as I sink a putt).

"Mom, I'm good!"

(Silence).

"You tell him I don't love him anymore because he turned you into a freak."