Who exchanged my morning glass of water with sour meat? Anyone? Really? Maybe sour meat is a little overboard, and also really gross, if you think about it, but I have had the most angry, irritable belly all day. And now you know.
Furthermore, whose idea was it to host a ginormous soccer tournament in the same town as my wedding, on the same weekend? Thanks to you we're having a yotch of a time trying to find some spare hotel rooms for our guests. Thank you, you suck. And to all of you wedding guests, you'll totally be camping out in my parents' backyard. They have a hot tub, don't worry.
In addition, who turned off spring? I believe, and I could be mistaken, it's about 4 degrees outside currently. Give or take some temperature. Last time I checked, it was April. Which, I suppose, shouldn't be shocking since I live in Wisconsin. But still. I have to run after work. And besides being 4 degrees, winds are blowing at about 40 mph. Maybe if I get a little tail wind, I'll break some records.
Also, I've got four months to get some killer arms. That is my newest wedding goal, other than not touching a flat iron to my hair, which is coming along quite swimmingly, I might add, if you don't mind BAD HAIR. My Cali pal Beck suggests push-ups. Lots and lots of push-ups. And she's got great arms. But I don't know if you know me - I don't do push-ups. I'm so sure. Push my own weight (all of it) up with my two arms? Repeatedly? Whimper. I'm a wimp. If you sent me to bootcamp and it came down to 20 push-ups or spending the night bare naked, on a frying pan, you'd be scrambling me for breakfast. But I suppose, how will I ever be able to do 20 push-ups if I don't try?
In other news, I'm reading "The Pact" by Jodi Picoult. It's good. Read it.
Oh, and, if one of the cats barf, and I'm not there to see it happen, do I have to clean it up? Because my vote is, "No."
Now, drop and give me 20.