So I had entirely different intentions for this post until about four seconds ago when, as I was logging into WordPress, I happened upon the list of top Google searches that brought people to my blog. "how to spank yourself"
Is this the kind of trash I blog about? Apparently.
So that made me laugh.
In other hysterical Google news, some pals of mine had to have a conversation with their 10-year-old daughter about her recent Google search history. I won't get specific, but 98 percent of the searches included the word "penis." Also throw in "sex" and "boobs" and you've just about got it.
When I was 10, I didn't even know what a penis was. I am 27 and am still not entirely sure. So there's that.
Also, remember that guy who was given my phone number? (By me). (Whoops). So, about that: how do I make him disappear? We have not hung out. Mostly because I AM NOT INTERESTED. See also: Krista is a bitch. But seriously. DO NOT WANT. He's all chatty-chatty with me on Facebook, all, "want to hang out?" And I'm all, "Is someone talking?"
Don't get me wrong. I could certainly use a good making out. I mean, really. But not with this guy. I don't like strangers. Plus I'm pretty sure all men are ill-intentioned. Because I'm a peach, obviously. But still.
I've got standards.