Two things, people.

First, last night I painted my toenails an unfortunate shade of ugly. And this morning I'm regretting it, as I stare idly at my now-ugly feet below my desk. Bad choice, Krista. Bad choice. Although this is not to say my feet weren't ugly to begin with. Ask my mom. However, you should see 'em now. The bottle calls the color "Succulent." I, however, call it "Not So Much."

Boo. The fingernails, though, are a fabulous shade of "Plum Shine." On the agenda tonight: remove Succulent from toes. Replace with Plum Shine. Happiness.

Secondly, I have a brain bleed. I know. Before you get all bent out of shape, I think "brain bleed" may sound a little more drastic than the reality of the situation. However, flashback to last night:

Krista steps out of shower (unaware of spider that will terrorize life in the morning). Dries off. Applies lotion. Clothes, etc, etc. Applies night cream to face. Grabs a Q-Tip...

"YEEEEEEEEOOOOOOWWWWWWAAAAAAARRGGGGGGH! Shit."

That hurt. Removes Q-Tip that went one inch too close to brain. Wants to vomit from pain. Actual vomit. Not just in mouth. Carries on with evening by painting toenails ugly shade of "Not So Much."

Fast-forward to this morning (uh, post-Spidergate 2006):

Krista crawls back into bathroom (very much aware of Spider On Ceiling Who Wants To Eat Her). Dries off. Applies lotion. Clothes, etc, etc. Applies day cream to face. Grabs a Q-Tip...

"What. The. F...?"

Q-Tip covered in blood. Actual blood. Assumedly from brain.

And that takes me to now, where maybe I might die of a brain bleed. I'm just sayin.'

(Photo: That, friends, is Maybelline Wet Shine's "Succulent").

krittabug