I'm half the woman I used to be.

I've lost something near and dear to my heart. It's not waiting for me when I get home. It's not the first thing I see first thing in the morning, fresh from a night's sleep. When I'm bored, I can't check "away messages" incessantly.

My internet has been turned off.

I gasped aloud in horror when I double-clicked my Internet Explorer link, waiting eagerly for my Hotmail account to display before me. Instead I saw this:

"Link not found."

Link not found? As in, it's gone? As in there's no internet? Yes. It's true. The Roommate and I have disconnected the internet. Just part of the moving process... But I shudder at the thought of when I might afford to get my beloved internet back. It could be weeks.

I blame being a child of the internet age for my inability to live without it. It's like living without a toilet. Or food. How will I read the news from Lansing, Michigan? Because that's important, you know. How will I know when news breaks on CNN.com? How will I check e-mail? Refresh my favorite blogs every seven minutes in hopes of a new post? Leave disgruntled away messages on AOL Instant Messenger when I'm in a bad mood? Find new bands on MySpace? Check my e-mail again? Those blogs - have they been updated?

I. Can't. Handle. This.

The internet should be like oxygen. It should just be. Everywhere. It should be free. We should be able to run free through the meadows, hand in hand, with our internet connections.

Don't take it away from me. Please, Time Warner Cable. Give it back. I beg of you. I can't go on... can't... go... on...