If you're offended by this, good, because I hate you, anyway.

There are a few three or 49 things about the human race that make my skin crawl. Head lice, math, Michael Vick. You know, things of that nature.

And then there's the worthless broad I saw last night at a concert. I stood in the crowd with three of my girlfriends as a pregnant woman made her way through the hoard of people. She came to a rest just to the left of us when I noticed what she was doing.

Smoking.

The stupid, illiterate, probably-seven-months-pregnant broad was smoking. At a concert. In a crowd. Smoking. With fetus. Large, almost ready to be birthed fetus, who's probably so smoke-damaged it's going to come out with a smokers cough.

It makes me sick. And if you're pregnant, and you smoke, you're disgusting, so go away.

Wow, that felt good. OK, carry on.