If this isn't a sign, then I don't know what is.

So, I'm just going to lay this all out on the table. My new last name, when the time comes, will be Brown. OK, there you have it. You're that much closer to learning the identity of The Fiance, who shall not be named. You can at least sleep at night now, right?

Anyway. So. There. Krista Brown. Ta daaa. Don't you feel better? I do.

And on with it...

So, this might get a little barftastic for you, but The Fiance and I call each other "Trout." Call it a pet name, if you will, but at least "Trout" isn't as bad as "Pookie" and "Baby" or "Sweetums." Quit your gagging. I'd rather be a "Trout" than a "Honey." Shiver.

Rewind to this afternoon, as I'm standing in line at the calendar kiosk at the very busy, highly dysfunctional mall. There I am, la la la, gripping with a kung fu grip my 2007 Boxers Boxed Calendar. Hi, ONE BOXER A DAY FOR 365 DAYS. That's, like, more than I can handle. It's Boxer-tastic.

So, I'm looking at the box, la la la, looking at the box. And I notice the name of the publishing company that produced 365 Boxers a day just for me. BrownTrout Publishers Inc. WHAT, you ask? BROWN TROUT? Brown. Trout? BROWNTROUT Publishers, people. I don't even know what this means, but it must be a sign from Jesus, himself.

I'm pretty sure it was Jesus who took pictures of 365 Boxers, packaged it into a desk-sized calendar, shoved it into a box and stamped BROWN TROUT on it. Because that's what I will be on Aug. 11, 2007. A Brown Trout. And I will totally have a Boxer.

That is how it will be done.