Let me preface this post by saying I can fit seven pieces of Bubble Yum Bubblegum in my mouth, which is both rather impressive and disappointing.
I had to play that game. You know, the game that tests my knowledge of all things The Fiance? I'm asked 20 questions about him, and I have to answer them correctly. When I answer a question incorrectly, in goes a piece of gum.
I guess I'm a little pleased, because at the start of the game I fully expected to have to shove all 20 pieces of gum into my mouth, but in the end I found there are only seven things I don't know about him. Obviously.
For example, his dream car is some BMW something-or-other. And his favorite number is 42. Forty-two? But I do know my legs are his favorite physical attribute. And? He hates tuna.
Two points for me!
So, with all of that said, the bridal shower went swimmingly. Games were played, laughs were shared, The Sister told every woman I know that one time I pooped in the bathtub. It's cool. Everybody poops.
Reading, aloud, the MadLib story, which Bridesmaid Beth had elegantly matted and framed, was probably the most hysterical three minutes of my life, except maybe the first time I saw Dave Chappelle's skit, "The Niggar Family" (Google it, trust me). And that one time, as children, Beth and I contemplated the reality of having 20-mile long hair. Which, at 11-years-old, is funny, you guys. But still. The MadLibs story is classic. And I'll hang it above the crib of my first child, and "dirty va-jay-jay" will be the child's first words.
Anyway, there was that.
I also got to learn which of my closest gal pals knows me best. The Sister won, of course, because I don't think two people who've shared a bathtub can get any closer. But my old, college roommate Erica took a very close second, which pleasantly surprised me. Of course, anyone who reads this blog knows just about everything there is to know about me, but still. Bridesmaid Mandy came in just behind her, and, well, we've shared underwear, so, you know.
We ate cake and fruit and drank fabulous champagne punch, and I opened presents. Lots of presents. And now I have an espresso machine, a waffle maker, slow cooker, hand blender, cookbooks, deep fryer and 14 other electronic appliances that I have absolutely no idea how to use. However, I will quickly learn and start feeding myself actual meals, which is highly exciting.
And if you ever want to press your garlic, I got a garlic press. Bethany wins for giving my most anticipated registry item. Three points for her.
So it was fun. And now it's over. And all I have to worry about now is the entire wedding. But on an awesome note, we found someone who will videotape our ceremony and part of the reception for us, for free. And, my wedding dress still fits. Although I think my push-ups are being counter-productive to my need to not have back fat, but whatever. It's back muscle.
I would post pictures from the shower, but, to be honest, I look like a nimrod in all the pictures I have, so instead I'll leave you with this picture of me and Tate the Neighbor Dog, who is SO BIG. And I want one: