Hey! New York! You stink.

OK, seriously? New York? You've got to knock this shit off. Why do you keep stealing our thunder? First you take Brett Favre (keep him), and now you're taking CC Sabathia? IHATEYOU.

Can't you just lay off and let us relish in our glory for a while before you come and yank the rug right out from under us? You come in, all flashing your dollar bills, and steal the few good things we have. Maybe we don't have, you know, $160 million, but... we've got... beer. And FANS. Good fans. Loyal fans, apparently unlike some of the sports heroes we both know and loved.

Loved being the operative word. Past tense. Because Brett, oh, I stopped loving you long ago. And CC, sigh. Here I was all hopeful and naive, thinking you'd maybe stick around with the little engine that could and give the Brewers at least one more shot. But money wins. Always.