Girl Conversation, Take 1,498.


The following conversation took place this week when, as a girl, I decided to plan my hypothetical wedding. Because, wedding planning - fun! But mostly because I'm a girl, and I can use that excuse (being a girl, and all) and get away with planning my (hypothetical) wedding. Clearly.

So here's me - and Erin, as per usual - carrying on with hypothetical wedding planning (via email, also as per usual):

Self: So, hypothetically, I planned my wedding. It's in two years. From today. Write that down. Yes. And you think I'm kidding. Ha, silly Erin.
Erin: I am so not watching your guest book, so don't even ask.
Self: You can manage the coat check, however.
Erin: It'll be sunny and warm. They won't be wearing coats. Obviously, you haven't thought this all through. I get to watch the chocolate fountain, OK? I called it.
Self: Oooh, yes. You can EAT the chocolate fountain for hours. Er, drink it? Delicious. OK, no coats. Well, shoot. You'll have to be my personal assistant, then. Yes, that's it. And when I say, "Jump," you will say, "No."
Erin: I will say, "Are you crazy? In these heels!?"
Self: That, too. Also, The BF wants a blue wedding. I will be counting on you to say, "No. I hate blue. I look bad in blue. Have a red and/or black wedding instead." Or green. I like green.
Erin: Tell The BF it is not his wedding. It is mine. And yours. Only not to each other, because I am not gay.
Self: Yes, I will tell him

... Later that day, during a severe thunderstorm watch...

Erin (who is an actual bride-to-be): If we die here today, I want you to know you were my favorite bridesmaid.
Self: It was an honor to not have actually been in your wedding yet, because in an unfortunate turn of events, we all died in a tornado.

... and that will conclude this session of Wedding Talk.