I recently learned that you can text Google for location information. As in, send a text to 4-6-6-4-5-3 (Google), and within a few seconds, you'll have a response. It worked when I was looking for the phone number of an out-of-town tattoo shop, for example. Text the name of a business, and it'll send you back its address and phone number.
So, today, as BethJ, Chicago Dave and I are driving relentlessly through Chicago in search of Superdawg (Found it! So good!), we pondered what else might happen if you text Google. Douchebag, for example. If you inquire about douchebags to cellular Google, will it promptly reply with the location of the nearest asshole?
Turns out, no. Because Chicago Dave got this response, "Sorry, 'douchebag' did not return any results."