I made a bold decision today. Well, more like a bold declaration. I am done with mediocrity. I am done being miserable and wasting my time and talent and college degree. I love Madison. LOVE. Like, to-the-millionth-degree love. This is the greatest city. But I think I've decided that I love myself more. I love my passions and my once-career. I miss feeling useful. And purposeful. I miss seeing my byline in the newspaper. I miss being needed and I miss deadlines. I miss waking up in the morning and not wanting to run a razorblade across my wrists because OH MY GOD DO I REALLY HAVE TO GO BACK TO WORK TODAY? I miss that.
I'm opening up my job search. To other cities. To other STATES. I'm just... going. Granted, if the most wonderful, perfect job landed in my lap in Madison, then YAY. But time has shown me that's not going to happen any time soon. It's time to open up and stop being afraid. I've kept myself tied close to home. For comfort. For safety. For my mama because I'm a mama's girl. But I want to be brave once. I want to see what happens. I'm only 28. I've got a lifetime to move to and from cities and states. What's wrong with a little dabbling now? Doesn't mean one day I won't come back and settle where my roots are.
Journalism is an impossible field right now. Newspapers are dying out. There are more out-of-work journalists than there are full-time ones. It's fiercely competitive. But there are jobs out there, somewhere. Wherever they are, I need to seek them. Be it at a newspaper, at a PR firm, with a non-profit organization - somewhere out there there is a job that will allow me to write and communicate and do what I was meant to do. I will find it.