Hi. It's me. I know, you're busy. It's that time of year. People are looking for love, soul mates, romance, etc., but I just have one request. Just one.
I'm not going to ask for much this Valentine's Day, Cupid. Nope. I know I originally asked to wake up next to Jason Mraz. I suppose we can forget that. For now.
I'm going to forget I requested the Perfect Man. You know, Cupid, the one with goals, dreams, ambitions, a career, morals and a yellow lab. Nah, we can hold off on that for a bit. (By "bit" I mean, like, a couple weeks, by the way. Come on, Cupid.)
Flowers? No. I don't need flowers delivered to work, Cupid. A huge bouquet, a loving card attached. Eh, who needs it? And I don't even like chocolates. We already had that disaster two years ago: a box of chocolates and Who Moved My Cheese?, a self-help book. Honestly. Nothing says "I love you, darling" like a box of candy you won't eat and a book teaching you to deal with life.
And really, Cupid, I don't even need a date. OK, well, a date would be nice, but I'm willing to sacrifice. Besides, dates have gotten awkward as of the new millennium. There's all kinds of new rules. Do the women pay? The men? Half and half? Are dinner and a movie over-rated? Are you supposed to kiss? Seriously. The pressure.
So instead, Cupid, I ask for one thing: this. It's all I want. Just a necklace. All right, so I know it says Tiffany's on it. I know it's a tad pricey. But really, can you put a price on true love? No, Cupid, the answer is you cannot.
So I'll go to sleep tonight, Cupid. Sugar plums will dance in my head and whatnot (or is that the wrong holiday?) Regardless. And when I awaken, I'll hope and pray to see the token blue box under my pillow. Or in the mailbox. Or under Wilbur, my tree. Heck, I'm even willing to travel. It's true love, Cupid. Think about it.
So instead of shooting me with your little bow and arrow, Cupid, try dropping down the credit card at Tiffany's, in my honor. You won't regret it.
With utmost love, eagerness and desperation,
(Photo courtesy of www.Tiffany.com)