Chilling in the coffee shop is the new going out to the bar.

Oh, hey. I'm just chilling down the road at the sweet neighborhood coffee shop. It's almost 8:30 on a Saturday night. This is how I roll, mocha in hand, laptop on table, artsy types conversing around me. Actually, no. I mean, don't get me wrong, I love it here, and I wish I was cool enough to chill in a coffee shop at night, sipping lattes, but I had an agenda - Operation What The Fuck Happened To My Internet. I have a laptop, remember? Got it for Christmas. Ever since, I've been riding high on the WiFi of my unknowing neighbor. WHEEEE. FREE INTERNET. FANTASTIC. Well, suddenly one night this week my Internet just stopped. POOF. No connection. I could not connect to anything. Not my neighbor, not the bar next door, not the house across the street or around the corner. Every connection was all "ENTER THE SECURITY CODE, BITCH."

Excuse me, what? What is this "se-cur-i-ty code" you speak of? You mean to tell me I cannot just log on to anyone'sInternet connection at any time at absolutely no cost to me? SHIT. Blasphemy. I became convinced that it was  my computer. You cannot tell me that every connection within a two-block radius, private and businesses alike, needed a security code, when I had previously had no issues. So I hauled my ass to the nearest WiFi hotspot to prove my theory - that as soon as I tried to legitimately log on to a public WiFi, it wouldn't work because my computer is broken. Obviously.

But, uh, nope. Hello. Here I am, on the Internet, because turns out, no, computer's not broken. I just need to stop being an asshole who steals other people's Internet connections. Which, I'm not gonna lie, is not as fun as being the asshole who steals other people's Internet connections.

Ho-hum, life is hard, etc.

In other quick news, I've owned New Moon for a week now, and the thing is still wrapped in its original plastic. It's sacred or something. CANNOT OPEN IT. Like, if I open it, the last year and a half of my vampire-loving life will come screeching to a halt. I need to let it linger awhile before I open it and subsequently watch it 36 times in a row, finally succumbing to my Crazy. AND, I've run 166 miles this month. Dude omg wtf. I've never run that much in a month in my entire life. This marathon training plan is super. It's totally kicking my ass into the pavement and I kind of love it. I can feel myself getting stronger and getting faster. I also need about 32,235 hours of sleep a night to feel completely rested and I've found myself planning my life around when I can fit in my daily workout, but dammit, it's all part of my plan to take over the world. And by "take over the world" I mean, "actually PR in my next marathon, rather than totally bonking at mile 7 and pissing and moaning my way through the next 19. See also: 2009 Grand Rapids Marathon."

Got it? Got it. Good.

Peace out, loves. I've got some mocha to sip and hip people to stare at.