Body wars. Oh, and Ryan Braun.

Today's a new day, you guys. CAN YOU BELIEVE IT? I'm in a significantly less funky mood today. I didn't procure a bikini bod overnight, but miracles can still happen, you know. I just need to start this post with THIS. Everyone just sit back and take a moment to enjoy the love, splendor, beauty and Judaism that is Ryan Braun. He had a grand opening at his new restaurant, so pictures are wafting through Facebook like the smell of deliciousness. Just. Look at him. If ever I were to be Jewish, it would be for Ryan Braun, so I could gaze upon him daily. I'd hug him. Regularly. Hug it out, Ryan Braun. Oh, and maybe we'd celebrate Chanukah, or something, too.

So, in news completely unrelated to Ryan Braun (sigh), I've made the executive decision to quit bitching about my body. Why? Because why the hell not. I will never be happy with it -- not ever. And neither will 92 percent of women. It's our curse. WE'RE CURSED. We'll never feel perfect, we'll never look perfect, we'll never not double-check the mirror because OMG THAT'S NOT A MUFFIN TOP, IS IT?

We won't. Not ever.

But it's my body. I have it. I made it what it is (and maybe some science and genetics did, too). But it still can kick so many other bodies' asses. So what if I hate my thighs? You know what they can do? Pound out a 31-goddamn-mile race. I hate my waist. Hate. Capital HATE. My stomach. Sure, it's flat. But I think it's ugly. But you know what? My core is strong enough to fight through 21 miles of trails, slipping and sliding on snow and ice and rocks. My arms aren't perfect, but they can hold their own. I have freckles. So what? It sets me apart from from the flawless skin of so many boring faces.

I don't diet. I don't care. I'm maybe more cognizant of what I eat than I maybe would be if I wasn't a runner, but I don't need to diet. I don't want to. I want to live my life, eat my way through it, and run to the other side. So my body will just be what it needs to be -- the machine to get me through it all. It's strong as hell. I like it.

So take that. Yeah.

Oh, and hey Ryan Braun. Heeeeey. Call me. *wink*