I love garlic. A ridiculous amount. It is my firm belief that garlic should be its own food group and we should all be required to eat "X" amount of garlic every day. God, garlic is good.
However, garlic needs to come with a how-to manual on ridding oneself of garlic breath because I swear to God it's keeping me awake right now. The intensity of garlic on my breath would kill a vampire. Hell, it would kill anything. Except Harley, apparently. I've been breathing on her for fun (because I'm an asshole) and she's still alive. Although I think by this point we've learned Harley is of another world. Not human, not feline. Monster comes to mind.
I bet you could smell me from a mile away. Hiiiiii, it's just meeeeeee and my garlic mouth. Ridiculous.
I don't know why I'm awake right now. I went to bed at 10 and was awakened an hour ago by a text message. Now I'm wide-the-shit-awake and garlicky.
I've been running, by the way. Three times now since the marathon. At first it would cause my gimp foot to hurt, but that's slowly subsiding, and now I can run as if almost nothing ever happened. Granted, I seem to have lost nearly all my fitness in two weeks, but I can still pound out 5 miles like a sort-of champ.
In unrelated news, everyone at my office appears to have some sort of swine malaria disease. All I hear all day is coughing and hacking and sneezing and I swear to God I'm catching it by association. Yuck. Gives me the willies. I find myself wanting to bathe in antibacterial hand sanitizer upon entering the building. If I get sick, I'm blaming someone. Don't know who, but someone's going down.
Also, on Friday we were allowed to come to work in costume. Being a simpleton, I decided to do it easy: I bought a $3 silver helium balloon from Party City and tied it around my wrist. I wore a nametag. It read: "Hello, I'm Balloon Boy." I won a prize for most creative costume.
Beat THAT, naughty (insert random profession here). Proof that I don't need to dress like a slut to rule at Halloween. Besides, last time I did that, we all know how it ended. Just saying...