It's hard not to feel like you're losing your mind when you actually might be. I can blame it on the lack of sleep, the lack of food, or the over-indulgence of work, but I know that if I took a three-hour nap after a three-course meal and called in sick from work, it wouldn't be any better.
So last night, with a bathroom full of candles and a bathtub full of scalding water, I curled into the fetal position hoping the hot water would have some sort of effect. It did. Mostly in that it was damn hot water.
But once I untangled myself to stare at the ceiling instead, there was calm. Finally. No noise. No people. No television. No tension. No deadlines.
And so I did what I do best under duress - cry.
Luckily, it was easily disguised, what with being in a bathtub, and all, not that anyone was watching. There's something to be said about being able to cry when no one's watching. I think they call it brilliant.
I don't have to answer questions. I don't have to explain. I don't have to care that my eyes swell and I have these strange, red splotches that spread across my neck.
So that's what I did, I soaked. Literally and figuratively, eye-level with the water. And it helped.
But today's another day.