Behold the hosebeast.


Seriously. Who comes up with this stuff? This is great.

Hosebeast. It's my new favorite noun.

Urban Dictionary has a list of definitions for the less-than-pleasant description of an even worse female, apparently.

Among my favorites:

"A woman who is ruthless, evil, and outright objectionable in both physical and mental presence." OK, fair enough. I can think of a woman or two who fits this description.

"A stupid a-s, dirty a-s, nasty a-s, slut. Crazy to a stupendous degree. Devourer of souls." Whoa. Now we might be getting a bit irrational. However, I've been known to be a little irrational from time to time, and again, I can come up with another handful of ladies who I might place in this category.

And then there's this jewel, "a 'beyond psycho' ex who you would love to see chopped up and fed to the dog." Cough. Uh, what? I've never in my life dealt with such a woman. Cough. It's a good thing I don't have a dog. My parents just got one, but he weighs three pounds and I doubt his diet could handle a 130-pound(ish) hosebeast.

So please, take this new word and shout it from the mountaintop. Mostly because I love it. And it makes me laugh. And you know you know a hosebeast. Or two. Or several.

And if I ever call you a hosebeast, be offended. I mean it. Hosebeast.

(I kid, I kid).

(Photo: Not so much a "hosebeast" as just "The Beast," but you understand).