A pal of mine wrote this. It's obviously not a true news story, but it's guaranteed to make the milk come out your nose. I felt the need to share:
FATHER WILL GIVE SON SOMETHING TO CRY ABOUT
Local boy, 4, grateful for his father's concern
Somewhere, Wis. -- Following a two-bike collision on the sidewalk in front of their Parkway Avenue home, a concerned father issued a strong statement regarding his son's condition.
"If you don't stop crying, I'll give you something to cry about," screamed John Schmitz, 36, to his son and, inadvertently to the neighbor's boy, who was also crying. "It's just a little blood, don't be a baby."
In a startling turn of events, the boy, 4, stopped crying.
"It really hit me," said John Jr. "I mean, here's a dad who works so hard just to put food on the table, and I'm out here on the sidewalk with a little blood running down my leg, crying like my leg fell off. He really turned me around on this; I'm so ashamed of myself."
John Sr. made headlines last year for making his oldest son, Jeremy, 8, sit with his plate of meatloaf at the table til he ate "the whole damned thing."