It started when I was asked to be a "celebrity judge" for a chili cook-off sponsored by the local seniors center. How I became a celebrity (and I use the term loosely) amongst the area senior citizen population, and what that does to my street credibility, I'm not sure, but, OK, I'll be a judge.
The first problem is I detest chili. Mostly I detest beans, but seeing as though beans are a staple ingredient to chili, well, I had a problem. However, I successfully ate around the beans in seven different samples of chili. And, man, the chili (sans beans) was fantastic. Even better? Contest facilitators put bowls of sour cream and shredded cheese on the tables to use at our discretion.
I love sour cream. Also cheese.
So I found myself with an absurd fascination with chili. And how can I get some without beans? In the time since, I've dabbled at chili from Wendy's or at the local gallery walk, but every time I had to eat around the beans. And it's a risky business when every once in a while a wandering bean would make its way onto my spoon, and I'd feel it in my mouth, and consequently retch in disgust.
Until last week when I bought Hormel chili with no beans at the grocery store. (I love you, Hormel, Oh Maker of Chili. And.. Spam? (ew?))
It was SO good. And also, I'm not particularly certain WHAT I was eating, exactly, because what is chili with no beans? But that's just details. It was brown (burnt-orange?) and thick-like, and I'm certain there was beef in there. Although I felt mildly as though I was heating up canned cat food. But whatever. Mmm.
So I went back to the grocery store last night and bought more. Here's me, at the register, with four cans of chili sans beans, TWO cartons of sour cream (two for $2, hello) and a rather large bag of shredded cheddar.
"Must be having a chili party?" the clerk asks absently, as she scans my four cans of chili, two cartons of sour cream and one large bag of cheese.
Ha. Ha, ha. I blush.
"Yes?" I reply, stupidly, too ashamed to admit that, "No, it's all for me. And I will probably use all of that sour cream in four helpings."
What happens to a person who eats chili every night for dinner?